Monday, October 27, 2008

Normal frustrations, I'm sure...

So I'm sure I'm not the only one who deals with such things, but refuting a negative attitude during lessons is becoming more of a struggle as the kids get used to this homeschooling thing. I'm finding it hard to divide between the teacher-me and the mommy-me and I think this is showing up as more occasions for discipline occur during lessons.

*sigh*

I guess this is just one of the realities of being a home educator that is starting to set in. Or maybe it's just part of our personalities clashing as the kids get older and more independent? I mean, Jefferson and I are practically identical so when my tendency to be controlling or bossy comes out in me and in him at the same time -it's a recipe for arguing and tears. And then, why is it that a 7yo boy is so insistent that he already knows everything anyway? And when the slightest request for repetition or giving of direction on my part causes Reagan to whine and fuss so the lesson gets dragged out forever, I have to bite my lip and persevere in my own self-control. Her slowness in accepting my direction or her insistence on completing a sheet perfectly, makes me want to pull out my hair at times.

If I didn't have the Lord Jesus as my savior, I would be angry and sad and hopeless and frustrated (actually I likely wouldn't be homeschooling, as He is the one who called us to it). But I am so thankful that He helps me to remain calm, to be better than I was yesterday, to show patience in the face of 7yo attitude and 5yo whining, and to show love instead of barking my anger. I am never more aware of the difference the Lord makes in my relationship with the kids than during school lessons sometimes, since these can be such testing times. I am so very far from where I think I need to be, but I pray for His grace to cover my failures and I am thankful for each opportunity that I have to spend teaching them through my actions and responses.

3rd week of our 2nd term - excitement of the new year wearing off. Yeah... just normal frustrations, I'm sure...

10 comments:

sbharnish said...

are your kids seriously playing sudoku? that is soooo cool!

Monica said...

We are all there on some level. Hang on. You are the perfect teacher for your kids. Not only has God especially equipped you, but He has given you the Love they need to flourish.

I pray tomorrow you get a glimpse of the fruit of your labor.

barrellfullofmonkeys said...

AMEN sister!! Our oldest has learning problems, and on bad weeks I'm constantly biting my tongue and trying to reign in my frustration. The plus? It forces me to completely rely on the Lord to get thru the day :) That's probably the point, huh? For me to see progress and encouragement from what he's retaining is spotty. My verse I've been relying on this schoolyear I almost chant on certain days ;) 2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness. I'M weak, but we can get thru this because HE'S strong.

(I'm with the earlier commenter -- Sudoku? Very cool, clever idea!)

Kathy D.

Luke said...

I love how children go through the phase of feeling like they know it all because I realize that, in many ways, they do know it all. Their world is small enough that everything fits together.

That's why I love jr. highers. It's after that stage of life when things become complicated and we realize the more we know the more we know we don't know.

Then it's really hard.

Hang in there!

~Luke

Teacher/Mom said...

Well, at least I'm not feeling so alone. My kids aren't the only ones who have issues with Mom's authority over them. I've been told, recently, by two all-grown-up homeschooled kids, that they weren't very nice to their moms; but that they were very glad, now, that she homeschooled them. I am hanging on to that hope with a white-knuckled grasp. I've also been told that strong-willed kids often grow up to be a very big witness for Christ. I'm also holding on to that.

Blessings.

Meaghan said...

I saw that you entered a giveaway to win a Starbucks Gift Card and thought you would like my Giveaway!

Im giving away 1 lb of Gourmet Coffee or Tea from my new online coffee shop: Get The Bean.

We will be doing giveaways weekly so be sure to stop by often.

www.getthebean.blogspot.com

Darcy @ LWM3B said...

School is like that here at times, too. I think it's normal. Or I hope so, because it's definitely not all sunshine and roses in my days.

But after some tough lessons in what CM calls 'laying the rails', I'm starting to catch on...

Keep up the good work!

Jennifer@DoingTheNextThing said...

oh, yeah - that's normal! add to that teenage hormones, and you've got my house, LOL! we've had some days lately that have been really rough, putting aside lessons to work on character and attitude. but in our house, it tends to come in waves and we'll have long stretches that are great. you will too, I'm sure! Thanksgiving break is coming - maybe you should take the whole week off! ;-)

Mary@notbefore7 said...

OH girl, I totally understand. I felt like this week we put aside "school" and worked entirely on repentance and attitude. It was a struggle for sure. We aren't alone in this journey! Thankful you see God's hand even in the struggle.

Also - where did you get those monster size Sudoku boards?

MandyMom.com said...

We spread our homeschooling out over the day, so there's time for them to play and do their own thing instead of trying to cram it all in one block. I have found this to be most helpful!

I understand the frustration, though!