So I'm sure I'm not the only one who deals with such things, but refuting a negative attitude during lessons is becoming more of a struggle as the kids get used to this homeschooling thing. I'm finding it hard to divide between the teacher-me and the mommy-me and I think this is showing up as more occasions for discipline occur during lessons.
I guess this is just one of the realities of being a home educator that is starting to set in. Or maybe it's just part of our personalities clashing as the kids get older and more independent? I mean, Jefferson and I are practically identical so when my tendency to be controlling or bossy comes out in me and in him at the same time -it's a recipe for arguing and tears. And then, why is it that a 7yo boy is so insistent that he already knows everything anyway? And when the slightest request for repetition or giving of direction on my part causes Reagan to whine and fuss so the lesson gets dragged out forever, I have to bite my lip and persevere in my own self-control. Her slowness in accepting my direction or her insistence on completing a sheet perfectly, makes me want to pull out my hair at times.
If I didn't have the Lord Jesus as my savior, I would be angry and sad and hopeless and frustrated (actually I likely wouldn't be homeschooling, as He is the one who called us to it). But I am so thankful that He helps me to remain calm, to be better than I was yesterday, to show patience in the face of 7yo attitude and 5yo whining, and to show love instead of barking my anger. I am never more aware of the difference the Lord makes in my relationship with the kids than during school lessons sometimes, since these can be such testing times. I am so very far from where I think I need to be, but I pray for His grace to cover my failures and I am thankful for each opportunity that I have to spend teaching them through my actions and responses.